To adults, childhood is viewed as happy and carefree. After all, kids don’t have jobs to keep, mortgages to pay, deals to close, relationships to manage, etc., right? WRONG. Children feel stress long before they grow up. Stress is a function of the demands placed on us and our ability to meet them. Parents and caregivers may underestimate the adverse health effects that kids’ sources of stress and anxiety have on their emotional and physical well being. What is non-consequential to an adult could be overwhelming or traumatic to a child, particularly if they don’t possess effective coping strategies.
Sources of childhood stress include the following:
· Separation anxiety (preschoolers)
· Family conflict – divorce, domestic violence, abuse, etc.
· Illness
· Death of a loved one
· Too many extracurricular activities
· Constant change – schools, caregivers, moving, shuttling between parental residences, etc.
· Social pressures – academic, peer pressure, need to fit in/conformance, teasing, gossip, bullies etc.
· Disturbing images on news or TV – natural disasters, war, terrorism, neighborhood violence, etc.
The impact of a stressor depends on the child’s maturity level, personality and method of coping. Children often have difficulty expressing their true feelings. For example, you will hear a child say “my stomach hurts” when they are really feeling overwhelmed or “I have a headache” when they are being pinched by everyday pressures. Although they may not say it, kids want their parents/caregivers to reach out to them and help them cope with their feelings.
Emotional expressions of stress include the following:
· Crying
· Aggression — insubordinate, acting out, talking back
· Irritability
· Nervousness — fearful, panicky
Physical expressions of stress: include the following:
· Asthma
· Hay fever
· Headaches
· Gastrointestinal disorders – colitis, irritable bowel syndrome, peptic ulcer
According to a KidsHealth poll, children handle their stresses in both healthy and unhealthy ways.
· 52 percent play or do something active
· 44 percent listen to music
· 42 percent watch TV or play video game
· 30 percent talk to a friend
· 29 percent try not to think about it
· 28 percent try to work on a solution
· 26 percent eat
· 25 percent take it out on themselves — hurt themselves by banging head, hitting or biting themselves
· 23 percent lose temper
· 22 percent talk to a parent
· 11 percent cry
· Best predictor of how well children handle stressors is how well their parents cope. Parents should monitor their own stress levels around the kids.
· 75 percent of kids want their parents to help them when they are in trouble — whether they ask for that help or not. Keep the communication lines open.
· Plan play dates, sleepovers and outings for your kids with their friends. Children who have close friendships are less likely to develop stress-related problems.
· Build in time for your children to play and relax into their daily schedules. Family schedules are busy and hectic. If you don’t plan for downtime, there won’t be any time left for it at day’s end.
As parents/caregivers, you can’t protect your kids from being exposed to stress, but you can help them develop healthy ways to cope with it.
photo by: Seattle Municipal Archives
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DISCLAIMER ALERT: The ideas expressed in this post came out of my own head, were researched by my own eyes and were expressed by my own hands. They are not intended to serve as medical advice in any way, shape or form. And they do not reflect the views of Humana Inc. or any of its subsidiaries. I take full responsibility if you think this post is awesome or not awesome.